hey I know I should be posting here everyday to get out stress but its just hard sometimes ya know?
anyways so far this week has sucked the girl I loved was dumped by her bf I thought we were gonna date and I asked her out but now shes back with and I just cant take it im so tired of it
im stressing because I have this script do I have to finish a monologue and im so tired I haven't slept in two days due to nightmares it makes me feel bad when I lie to my friends saying im going to sleep but im really up all night thinking and breaking down I don't cry but I want to so I just sit in a ball and imagine a new story and think about writing it but I never do I finished reading and watching divergent and if you ask me the factions seem like a pretty damn good idea. anyways it does kinda feel good to write these but ill try to write another one by the end of the day
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
her
hey blogger so the only reason why im doing this is because my friend cassie is telling me too
so ill release some stress. And you know what I hope it works because the last couple days have been horrible so I now know what I put my friend amber through twice a full on heartbreak.
It didn't really hit me till I checked Facebook a couple days ago and saw that she was in a relationship with her e.x Wyatt who is in my words a self centerd pot smoking drunk who cheats on every girl he dates he broke her heart twice as well And left her for another girl. I did the same thing to her and left her for the same girl and I regretted it ever since and now whenever I see something about them together online it makes Me cry .
And you know I hate crying.
Its just I feel like I love her but she doesn't see it and she's happy with him and normally when she's happy I'm happy but not this time I don't like Wyatt I don't want him to hurt her again so please if theres anyone out there with tithe exception on one(you know who you are) please comment and help me?
so ill release some stress. And you know what I hope it works because the last couple days have been horrible so I now know what I put my friend amber through twice a full on heartbreak.
It didn't really hit me till I checked Facebook a couple days ago and saw that she was in a relationship with her e.x Wyatt who is in my words a self centerd pot smoking drunk who cheats on every girl he dates he broke her heart twice as well And left her for another girl. I did the same thing to her and left her for the same girl and I regretted it ever since and now whenever I see something about them together online it makes Me cry .
And you know I hate crying.
Its just I feel like I love her but she doesn't see it and she's happy with him and normally when she's happy I'm happy but not this time I don't like Wyatt I don't want him to hurt her again so please if theres anyone out there with tithe exception on one(you know who you are) please comment and help me?
Sunday, August 31, 2014
lifes a bitch
Hey blogger I know I haven't been on in a while .
But recently I really feel like I screwed up and I don't know what to do I've destroyed the friendship of my neighbors I've told them to make the whole neighborhood to hate me cause I can't take it anymore and I just wanna die my sister hates me because her dumbest father brainwashed her making it seem like we cause all the problems in the family .
My friend is moving and its gonna tear me apart which is ironic because I'm so damn heartless
I'm serious
The only time I have cried is when someone I loved was about to commit suicide but other then that
evrytime I break someone up or ruin someone's friendship I don't feel sad or bad I feel guilt and I can't help it but my sister told me to never talk to her again and I broke down in tears and I don't like crying my father always told me it was a sign of weakness and to never cry and I went three years without crying
Ironically theres only one good part out of all of today
And its that my neatest friend in the whole world Cassie found a boy she likes and I think she has a chance with him and just her being happy and feeling so good about someone brought a smile to my face that and by the end of tomorrow ill end up writing a story about this haha that's sad that I can smile at a time of such pain but hey maybe tomorrow will be better
But recently I really feel like I screwed up and I don't know what to do I've destroyed the friendship of my neighbors I've told them to make the whole neighborhood to hate me cause I can't take it anymore and I just wanna die my sister hates me because her dumbest father brainwashed her making it seem like we cause all the problems in the family .
My friend is moving and its gonna tear me apart which is ironic because I'm so damn heartless
I'm serious
The only time I have cried is when someone I loved was about to commit suicide but other then that
evrytime I break someone up or ruin someone's friendship I don't feel sad or bad I feel guilt and I can't help it but my sister told me to never talk to her again and I broke down in tears and I don't like crying my father always told me it was a sign of weakness and to never cry and I went three years without crying
Ironically theres only one good part out of all of today
And its that my neatest friend in the whole world Cassie found a boy she likes and I think she has a chance with him and just her being happy and feeling so good about someone brought a smile to my face that and by the end of tomorrow ill end up writing a story about this haha that's sad that I can smile at a time of such pain but hey maybe tomorrow will be better
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
two amazing girls
Ok hi just short and quick cause I gotta go but theses are two amazing girls i wanna tell you about
One is Leah she is super pretty has really funny jokes she laughs at everything I do and overall I like her a lot unfortunately she got out of her relationship only in time for me to gain courage to ask. Her out she dating someone else now
2 is Chelsi
She's new at my school she's a new Yorker and she Is super cute she laughs at everything I do like Leah and everything like Leah now her I just need to find out if she likes me
One is Leah she is super pretty has really funny jokes she laughs at everything I do and overall I like her a lot unfortunately she got out of her relationship only in time for me to gain courage to ask. Her out she dating someone else now
2 is Chelsi
She's new at my school she's a new Yorker and she Is super cute she laughs at everything I do like Leah and everything like Leah now her I just need to find out if she likes me
Sunday, February 16, 2014
crap
That title is an understatement I'm feeling like shit for 2 reasons
1. I'm actually really sick and I can barely see and much less breathe
2. The girl that I'm pretty sure I love doesn't see it at least it feels like she doesn't see it but every time I look at any girl I only see her I think about her every night and I don't know if I could live without her she has done so much for me unlike most and I appreciate that but also who she is ,why I love her she is so uncommon its actually funny me and her are so much alike sad thing is I don't think she's ever gonna read this and know :( btw for all of you that read these and don't comment even when I ask for help and you don't(depite one person) ALL YOU PEOPLE SUCK!
1. I'm actually really sick and I can barely see and much less breathe
2. The girl that I'm pretty sure I love doesn't see it at least it feels like she doesn't see it but every time I look at any girl I only see her I think about her every night and I don't know if I could live without her she has done so much for me unlike most and I appreciate that but also who she is ,why I love her she is so uncommon its actually funny me and her are so much alike sad thing is I don't think she's ever gonna read this and know :( btw for all of you that read these and don't comment even when I ask for help and you don't(depite one person) ALL YOU PEOPLE SUCK!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
help
Hello I need to talk so much is on my mind I have so many problems
1. Today my grandma asked me to come play bingo again which I like but she only seems to be proud of me when I win money I got good grades for the first semester and I didn't get one praise
2.the girl that I love doesn't see it cause she in love with someone who beats me out in every way and I don't think shell ever no but I can't bring my self to tell her because it will be awkward
3. My best friend is dating one of the girls I like and she doesn't know it I have told him multiple times but he doesn't care
3.one of my friend is doing something(or acting ) like she's doing something that tore my family apart and it brings back so many memories I just can't handle it I would love to talk to someone please if you can help me comment or kick me at bahzion I love helping others but now I am the one that needs help
Please I need help
1. Today my grandma asked me to come play bingo again which I like but she only seems to be proud of me when I win money I got good grades for the first semester and I didn't get one praise
2.the girl that I love doesn't see it cause she in love with someone who beats me out in every way and I don't think shell ever no but I can't bring my self to tell her because it will be awkward
3. My best friend is dating one of the girls I like and she doesn't know it I have told him multiple times but he doesn't care
3.one of my friend is doing something(or acting ) like she's doing something that tore my family apart and it brings back so many memories I just can't handle it I would love to talk to someone please if you can help me comment or kick me at bahzion I love helping others but now I am the one that needs help
Please I need help
Monday, February 10, 2014
me!
Hey blogger if your gonna read my posts and you do end up commenting on them I just want to say something first
No matter what you say it can't hurt me you may break me but you will never break my spirit and who I am I have probably been through more shit in fourteen years than most in 30
My life isn't perfect and I don't wish it was why because it made me who I am it molded me into what I can do and gave me strength I used to be bullied on my clothes I created a solution I have worn plain color t-shirts for the past two years
I may look weak and strange and not that much but bring out my temper and you'll see who I really am
Don't judge me by my looks but instead judge me by my personality
No matter what you say it can't hurt me you may break me but you will never break my spirit and who I am I have probably been through more shit in fourteen years than most in 30
My life isn't perfect and I don't wish it was why because it made me who I am it molded me into what I can do and gave me strength I used to be bullied on my clothes I created a solution I have worn plain color t-shirts for the past two years
I may look weak and strange and not that much but bring out my temper and you'll see who I really am
Don't judge me by my looks but instead judge me by my personality
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